As Neil Sedaka famously sang for the first time back in 1962, breaking up is hard to do. And it can be especially difficult to break up with someone if you’ve been in a relationship with them for an extended period of time.
But it’s important for people to know when to leave a relationship. You could be doing a huge disservice to both yourself and your significant other if you stay in a relationship simply because you feel like you’re obligated to do it.
It’s not always easy to figure out when to give up on a relationship. But there are some signs that will let you know it’s probably time for you and your partner to call it quits.
Take a look at 12 signs that it’s best for you to move on below.
1. You Don’t Enjoy Spending Time With Your Partner Anymore
Do you cringe when your partner suggests the idea of you spending some alone time together? This is obviously not a very good sign for your relationship.
It’s perfectly normal for you to want to do some things on your own when you’re in a relationship. But you and your partner should still have at least a few things, like watching movies or going to the park, that you enjoy doing together. If that isn’t the case, you should reconsider why you’re with someone.
2. You Can’t Trust Your Partner For Whatever Reason
Trust is one of the most important aspects of any relationship. If you can’t trust someone, then you’re not going to be able to maintain a very good relationship with them.
If you don’t trust your partner because they were unfaithful to you or because they’ve engaged in bad behavior that you don’t approve of, you might be able to rebuild that trust over time. But if you work to do it and find that you still can’t trust them, that trust might be gone forever.
And once trust in a relationship is gone, it won’t be long before the relationship is over.
3. You Feel Uncomfortable With Changes Your Partner Has Asked You to Make
It’s not out of the ordinary for people to push their partners to change for the better when they’re in a relationship with them. They might push them to take their health more seriously or push them to be on time more often.
But your partner shouldn’t cross a certain line when they ask you to make changes. For example, they shouldn’t ask you to get rid of some of your friends or completely change the way that you look if you don’t feel comfortable doing it.
If they insist that you make these kinds of changes despite you telling them that you don’t want to, it’s probably time to move on. Otherwise, you could end up changing yourself into someone that you don’t like.
4. You Don’t Feel Like Your Partner Is Working Hard Enough to Make Positive Changes
As we just mentioned, there are times when it’s perfectly fine for a person to ask their partner to make changes in their life. For instance, if you think that your partner drinks alcohol too often, you might ask them to change that habit for the good of your relationship.
If they’re completely unwilling to make these changes or if they tell you that they’ll make them but never get around to doing it, it should be a major red flag. When a person loves you, they should work as hard as they can to make changes that are in the best interest of your relationship.
Stop sitting around and waiting for someone to make changes when they’re dead set on not making them. It’ll help you avoid wasting a bunch of time on a person who isn’t going to change, no matter how much you might want them to.
5. Your Family Members and Friends Don’t Like Your Partner
Did your mom, your brother, your best friend, or even your coworker mention that they don’t like your partner to you?
If so, you should ask them to tell you why. There is always a chance that their dislike for your partner could stem from some kind of miscommunication that has taken place.
But there is also a chance that your family members and friends could have a legit reason for not liking your partner. Maybe they don’t like the way that they treat you. Or maybe they don’t like the changes they’ve seen you make to keep your partner happy.
Either way, you shouldn’t ignore your family members and friends. They could very well see a crack in your relationship that you haven’t noticed yet.
6. You’ve Been Subjected to Physical and/or Verbal Abuse
You should not, under any circumstances, be subjected to physical abuse at the hands of your partner. If you are, you should end the relationship immediately and never look back.
You should also end any relationship that includes verbal abuse. If your partner is constantly putting you down and making you feel awful about yourself, they don’t deserve to be in your life.
You can read more here about the steps you might want to consider taking if you’ve been subjected to physical abuse. But whatever you do, don’t let it go on any longer. There is no reason for you to be involved in this kind of toxic relationship.
7. You Suspect Your Partner Doesn’t Have Any Respect for You
When two people love each other, they should show one another the proper respect. That respect can really go a long way towards forming a close bond between a couple.
Has your partner let you know, in one way or another, that they don’t respect you? They may not respect the work that you do or the way that you carry yourself when you’re out in public.
Whatever the case, your relationship isn’t going to last long if you and your partner don’t have the utmost respect for each other. If you find that to be the case, you might want to either work on respecting each other more or end your relationship altogether if you find that you’re still not getting the respect you deserve.
8. You Find Yourself Looking Back on the Past Instead of Looking Forward to the Future
The past is something that keeps so many unhappy couples together. Couples look back at all of the things they’ve done over the years and feel like those things are reason enough to stay together.
The past may have helped lay the foundation for your relationship. But the problem is that you and your partner can’t constantly be living in the past. You need to be looking forward to the future and all that it holds for you.
If this is something you struggle with, your relationship might not have much of a future. You should assess the situation and see if you’re only holding on because of what you and your partner used to have.
9. You Don’t Have the Same Fundamental Beliefs as Your Partner
You and your partner don’t have to agree on everything for your relationship to work. You don’t need to like the same foods, enjoy the same music, or even vote for the same politicians.
But there are some definite dealbreakers that can derail your relationship. If you want kids but your partner doesn’t, for example, it’s going to be almost impossible for you to maintain your relationship. There is going to come a time when one of you will have to make a compromise that’s just too hard to make.
It’s good for couples to discuss their fundamental beliefs right from the beginning. If they don’t match up, breaking up might be the only option.
10. You’re Having a Hard Time Growing as an Individual
Do you feel like your relationship is holding you back in some way?
It might be preventing you from moving across the country to accept your dream job. Or it might be forcing you to put some big plans you had for yourself on hold.
There is some sacrificing that you’ll need to do for the sake of your relationship. But you should be permitted to continue to grow as an individual regardless of your relationship status.
11. You and Your Partner Are Fighting Almost All the Time
All couples fight. Regardless of how good their relationship might be, fights are a normal part of being in a relationship!
But if the fighting between you and your partner has spiraled out of control, it could be creating a toxic situation for both of you. Even if there isn’t any physical or verbal abuse coming along with it, an overabundance of fighting is reason enough to reconsider moving forward with a relationship.
12. You’re No Longer in Love With Your Partner
Have you fallen out of love with your partner for whatever reason?
It’s not fair to you or to them to continue moving forward like nothing’s wrong. Your lack of love for your partner is inevitably going to alter your relationship and make it worse over time.
If you just don’t feel the same way as you used to about your partner, it doesn’t make you a bad person. But it does mean that you need to sit down with them and let them know how you feel.
Know When to Leave a Relationship and Take Action
It doesn’t matter if you’ve been in a relationship for six months, 10 years, or several decades. Your relationship could sour at some point, and it’s important for you to know when to leave a relationship.
It’s usually not easy to do it. There will be tons of tears and plenty of dark days to follow. But it could prove to be what’s best for both you and your partner in the long run.
Do you want to give your relationship one more chance? Read our blog for tips on bettering a relationship that has gone bad.