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Has your marriage broken down? It can be a sad fact of life but ultimately the right decision. The Coronavirus lockdown has left many marriages feeling the strain, with a record number of divorces filed in China and in other lockdown countries such as the U.K.
But getting a divorce doesn’t have to be that traumatic. If you follow these divorce tips, you could ensure that your divorce is a smooth transition to the next, happier phase of your life.
Here’s everything you need to know about how to prepare for divorce
1. Research the Process
To have a successful divorce, you need to first understand the process. Divorces are common.
In 2018, there were around 782,000 divorces or annulments in the U.S. But it’s not as simple as signing a single piece of paper that dissolves your marriage and makes you a free man or woman.
A divorce is a legal negotiation in which you try to come to an agreement about the future legal status of all the things you have shared as a result of your marriage. This includes custody rights for any children you have together, your marital home, any other belongings you own, and even your pets.
If you cannot agree between yourselves on how these assets should be shared, a judge will decide for you based on the law and you will have to enter into lengthy court proceedings which could take years to conclude.
By understanding the process, you can determine what your rights are and stop yourself from making errors that could see you locked into a fierce court battle with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse. This is how to prepare for divorce.
2. Try to Stay on Amicable Terms
Marriage is supposed to last for life and when you make that commitment, you were most likely in love with the other person. The termination of such a partnership will leave you feeling heartbroken, vengeful, resourceful, sad, depressed, and even relieved.
It’s important to recognize that you will feel like this and that your ex will also feel like this as well. This is normal and you should try to remember that these emotions will pass.
Remembering this will help you stay on more amicable terms with your ex. This is important because amicable terms will help you build a stronger relationship in the future.
If your relationship breaks down during your divorce, you could end up losing more than just your ex. You could damage your relationship with your children for years to come and you could also find yourself losing thousands of dollars in legal fees as you battle it out in court.
To Move or Not to Move
A key question you need to answer if you wish to stay on amicable terms with your ex is whether you decide to move out of the house or not.
For many people, the answer is yes, as this creates a clean break and gives both you and your ex space to build new lives.
However, for other people, it’s not so simple, particularly if you feel that by moving out of the house, you are giving up any claim to in the divorce proceedings. Try to have a conversation about this with your ex to decide on a way forward to avoid this becoming an issue.
3. Know Who Your Friends and Allies Are
If your wife or husband was your best friend and confidante, it can be hard to know who to turn to. You may feel as if you now have no allies in the world. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.
You need to reach out to your friends and family and let them know what’s happening. During the course of your marriage, you may have drifted from them, but it’s important to reconnect. You will need them for emotional support and to distract you from the divorce, which can quickly take over your whole life.
Plan some fun activities like going out for meals, mini-golf, or an adventure park together for the day.
4. Get Expert Advice
The most important part of a divorce is getting advice. This can be advice from lawyers who can lay out your rights, such as these divorce attorneys, or it could be emotional support from relationship coaches.
You might even need to consult a financial advisor who can give you some tips on how to downsize and prepare for your new life following your divorce. Divorce is expensive, so it might be that you have to learn how to survive on less money or increase your earnings to maintain your current lifestyle. You need to prepare for the fact your partner could get half of what you currently own.
You might also benefit from anger management or a personal therapist if your marriage broke down due to violence or the unreasonable behavior on either party. This can ensure you are well-prepared to move on with your life and face the challenges of your next relationship, having learned the lesson of your marriage.
Top Divorce Tips? Be Civil and Fair
The breakdown of marriage hurts; there’s no doubt about it. But fighting over all of the smaller details and declaring war on your ex could damage your life for years to come.
It could also end up ruining you financially. There’s no need to create this tension.
Instead, you should remain calm and civil. By thinking and talking through your decisions with your ex-partner, you can come to better agreements and create better relationships with them.
If you are interested in reading more about top divorce tips and how to go about a divorce, be sure to check out the rest of our site.