When you fall in love and get married you never do so thinking it’ll be your marriage ending. And whether you are the one seeking the divorce or not, ending your marriage can create a painful and emotional time.

You used to hear that half all marriages ended in divorce. That rate has drastically gone down, In 2019, there were only 2.9 divorces per 1,000 total people. Yet, if you are part of the statistics, you know navigating the divorce waters is complicated and emotional.

So you might start the process hoping for an amicable divorce, hoping to get through it without the super-charged arguments and disagreeing over who gets the living room furniture.

Read on to learn 5 ways on how to divorce amicably.

1. Be Sure

This might sound unnecessary, but before you announce you want a divorce or start proceedings be very sure it’s what you really want. And if it is what you want, recognize that your partner may need some time to adjust. This is especially true if you have been thinking about it for a while and they have not.

Plan how you will deliver your news. Don’t do it spontaneously and in the heat of an argument. Recognize that once you tell your partner you are seeking a divorce, things are going to change.

Keep your initial conversation about the divorce short and only focus on that you are seeking a divorce. It’s likely to be an emotional conversation full of questions. Make every effort to start the process with kindness and patience.

2. Be Open to Communication

Remember, you once loved and cared for this person. Make to rise above anger, hurt, fear, and the other many emotions connected to divorce and communicate.

An amicable divorce can’t happen when one partner is intent on being difficult or fighting. Choose your words carefully and concisely and communicate in good faith to read an end to the marriage.

3. Avoid Finger-Pointing

Whether you want the divorce or not, when emotions run high, avoid the finger-pointing. It won’t do any good to respond with blame.

While your divorce might be unexpected, you are likely not going to change your partner’s mind. Blaming each other for past wrongs does not get you through the hard part of dissolving the marriage.

4. Negotiate

Even a successful marriage not heading for divorce requires some negotiation from time to time. As you dissolve your marriage, prepare to negotiate. Make every attempt to not let emotions drive those negotiations.

Make an effort to negotiate in a way that works for the better of both of you. Squabbling or full-on fighting over past moments in the marriage or the belongings no longer benefits either one of you.

5. Participate in Mediation

One of the many difficult parts of divorce to navigate is how to divide marital debt and assets. Often it can help couples going through a divorce to work with a mediator who is impartial to help reach a conclusion. Be open to the idea of mediation if it helps you get the amicable divorce you hoped for.

Aim for an Amicable Divorce

Many people start the divorce process hoping to have an amicable divorce. Controlling your emotions and communication is key to reading an amicable divorce.

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