Today’s trend seems to be that divorce is the most utilized way out of a relationship, accounting for almost 3 out 7 marriages in the United States alone.  This statistical situation is also evident in other countries, mainly due to the fact that it is a socially accepted solution to many failing marriages.

goofy-married-couple

However, divorce is not always the right approach. Sometimes, it may not be an option at all.

For this reason, married couples should be informed on what they should do in order to make the relationship healthy. Spending time together is always an important factor, as well as sleeping next to each other, having dinner together, and the like. However, the sad reality is that when it becomes just a regular act, it loses its essence. This is why many couples are starting to be creative whenever they spend their precious moments together. The bigger question lies in the frequency of it all.

Here are three activities married couples should do more often to make the relationships last.

Travel Together, Stay Together

Traveling to new places alone can make a person feel a little more refreshed mentally and enthralled physically. This is due to the fact that one is exposed to new views, therefore new feelings and grander emotions. Furthermore, this can lead to a person realizing some essential matters, that any circumstance can be understood in a more unique and lighter perspective.

hiking-couple

In fact, when a person travels alone, he acquires a sense of belonging with nature, culture and all the people that live in it. This brand new perspective on life is something that is marked on a person when he actually goes out there in the hustle and bustle of studies, work and relationships.

Self-discovery is one of the best things that can be reaped from journeying into new and exciting places. As such, when a person travels with his or her soul mate, the benefits rev up a notch higher. This is because couples, more often than not, have the same goal to discover the world. With this common goal, the connection between them becomes deeper. Just imagine that when two people get to enjoy the serenity of nature’s views and be exposed to its beauty together, the mental and emotional impact can be grander than life.

In addition, couples get to have a much needed stress-relief from the hustle and bustle of their own reality. This can automatically lessen the frequency of misunderstandings and drama that makes relationships hard. On that note, couples also have the chance to have meaningful conversations induced by an environment that is new, exciting and serene.

While other couples who do not travel together worry about the future, and build their relationship with doubts, couples who do travel together need not be worried about what might happen next because they are sure to be consumed and captured by the intensity of the wonderful moments experienced with each other. Traveling together does not give them the opportunity to over-analyse their situation, but insteads give them a chance to be critical on several subjects which can make them appreciate the present even more.

Small Efforts and Gift-Giving

While most people would argue that giving something material often has a negative connotation, it proves to be an essential part in any thriving relationship. In fact, many accounts suggest that a person who received a gift may not only feel special about him or herself, but actually feel indebted and encouraged to return the favor.

Psychology points out that gift giving is a big deal in any relationship, that establishes a deep mental, emotional and social connection. Social obligations aside, where does gift giving fit into the landscape of a romantic relationship?

In other words, why do romantic partners give each other gifts? Some scholars have argued that reciprocity, or the give-and-take that characterizes exchange theories, lies at the heart of all gift giving. Such a perspective suggests that people are motivated to buy gifts for their significant others because they either anticipate receiving something in return or because they already received something valuable and feel indebted.

Even before marriage, couples tend to give gifts to each other as a way to show affection, and to get affection in return. Men often get creative when asking their girlfriends for marriage, using various gimmicks to finally put the ring on it. In return, women try to put some extra factors in their gifts, too.

husband-giving-wife-a-present

That is why when THE special day comes, getting gifts for the groom and treats for the bride can make a whole lot of difference to the relationship. It’s not about the grandness of the gifts. It’s the romantic energy that comes with the act of showing one’s affection through the gesture

Aside from material gifts, small gestures like cooking dinner for each other and giving a soothing massage can also go a long way. These little acts of sweetness help induce endorphins that help a person become elated and more appreciative of their partners. These gestures also pave the way for a ‘surprise factor’ that keeps the relationship exciting and feeling brand new.

Love-making, redefined

One big part of any happily married couple is sexual satisfaction. Sex is something that is (hopefully) exclusive for the couple, and it can bring a deeper link not only physically, but also spiritually. In fact, when two people are love-making and are satisfied with one another, research shows that their relationships last longer. It is quite obvious, too, since problems that may be brought about by a third party can already be crossed out.

Studies also show that married couples of all ages who report higher levels of relationship satisfaction also report having good sex lives. It’s pretty much accepted across the board of relationship therapists that an unfulfilled sex life makes people unhappy, causing underlying feelings of frustration, depression, rejection, self-doubt, disorientation and low self-esteem.

There are mixed opinions about what to do to rekindle marital sex. For some couples, it may be as simple as a weekend away from the kids, taking a vacation or cruise, or just having some time off, alone. Others may need help in reestablishing communication and may seek professional assistance.

get-freaky

This is why many married people should engage in many methods on how approach sex to keep away the mundaneness of marital love-making. Role playing is one of the ways couples can put a little spice in their bed. It is an effective way because it gives a sense of variation, where such ‘roles’ induce a revitalized vigor. In fact, there are many role play ideas out there that many married couple can start with.

Unfortunately, there are only a few counseling professionals that directly help deal with this issue. Often, marriage counselors focus on other elements of the relationship. While there may indeed be other factors other than the sexual relations of a couple, sometimes, talking explicitly about sex is also essential, as this integral aspect may play a big role in the romantic integrity in the relationship.

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How People with High IQs Think (Practical Examples) 2 - Florida Independent
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How People with High IQs Think (Practical Examples)

You don’t have to be the Einstein of our generation to be successful. But in some companies and institutions, IQ has a tendency to correlate to qualities they value, hence the kind of people they seek and want to work with. IQ tests directly measure your ability to correctly identify patterns and logic problems under a time limit.

Those skills have a significant correlation to other skills that we value in a 21st century, post-industrial economy. It correlates with the ability learn complex concepts, learn to think critically, learn to identify opportunities etc.

IQ is probably overrated today. We place way to much value on IQ, and take it as being far more meaningful than it is.

These are two practical examples (from Calvin and Raffaele) of how people with high 1Qs think (from a social, intellectual, and practical point of view). How they perceive everyday interactions and situations. They originally shared these experiences on reddit.

1. Calvin Chopra, An inquisitive autodidact

I tested about 4 months back; my IQ was 150. My Myers Briggs Test Type (MBTI) is INTJ and I am 17 years old.

Socially: It is pretty screwed up. I can’t get along with kids in my school or other people around me. Also, it is an INTJ characteristic that people perceive me as arrogant; in fact I am very humble. I tend to be the silent one. I don’t talk much and sometimes I am shy.

I don’t talk to people in my age group, but instead have friends who are older than me. I also don’t believe in small talk; I don’t want people calling me unless it is extremely important and I think a real conversation is better any day.

However, When I am with like-minded people or in a place where I can discuss  ideas, I am good socially and I consider myself to be an ambivert contrary to the MBTI test. I am swift then. Also, I am good at reading people’s expressions and know what they are thinking about, but sometimes I don’t even know that they are listening to me.

I despise smartphones, any and every form of communication. I don’t use my smartphone quite a lot and I might switch to a feature phone. Also, I permanently deleted my facebook account after joining Quora. I don’t keep up with my old buddies.

Intellectually: At an early age, I discovered that I was passionate about robotics and computers. Also I am a voracious reader. I read, think and talk about subjects ranging from Neuroscience to metaphysics.

I am good at school now. I love to be intellectually engaged. I have a hard time doing dull work, but I motivate myself and do work well. As for music, I find solace in classical works of Beethoven, Chopin, Tchaikovsky and the likes.

The dark side of this intellectual prowess is that I sometimes have to deal with analysis paralysis and I tend to over-plan things. I think and worry a lot, sometimes. Other times I get lost in my imagination; when I am inactive I tend to do thought experiments and try to analyze or build things in my mind.

Creativity: My mind has an inclination towards abstraction; I would study the fundamental nature of something, make assumptions and inferences and would try to build an abstract model. I would then try to use that model. That is why I love robotics.

I love to work on abstract stuff; I would do stuff with Artificial Intelligence and Machine learning and then use these domains to develop robots. Abstraction and Application, I work on these constantly.

Practicality: I was a strong idealist earlier; now I believe that practicality and idealism should go hand in hand. With my idealistic mind, I made many mistakes. I learnt from those mistakes and take my decisions wisely now.

I analyze the situations I am in, anticipate outcomes and know what will be beneficial for me. I do not have the Dunning Kruger effect, I know what I am good at, I know what I am bad at and I know that I don’t know much.

Procrastination: If I don’t have a plan, I will procrastinate, a lot. I need to make a plan a night before. That is the only way I can be productive. I don’t really need to be motivated to do something; having a purpose is enough. The next best thing would be a plan.

Although I don’t follow a plan rigidly but I keep working on things till bed time. I constantly make day logs and edit my plan, and I have a good work ethic. I am a non-conformist and brutally rational. I do not care about what others think about me, but I do not harm them either. If my apathy harms them, then I am in a dilemma.

[Note: Whatever I am or whatever I think, I do not attribute it to my IQ. Whatever I have achieved is by devoting time and effort in order to enhance my skills.

I believe regardless whether your IQ is 100 or 140, you can achieve solely by practicing and improving your skills; a priori intelligence is just because of genes and environment. You can be anything you want.

Also, People cannot be compared; there might be millions of people intelligent than you, millions dumber than you. If you want to get ahead embrace who you are. Be unique, do something only you can and discover your real potential.]

2. Raffaele Tranquillini, 16-year old student, programmer

Sorry for my English, my native language is Italian and actually I am 16 year old, so still learning. Even if I am not 160 or more, I have taken a few reliable IQ tests in the past and obtained scores between 145 and 150 in all. I’ll try to give a detailed answer to this question.

Notice: additional factors may influence this answer. I am an INTP on MBTI personality scale and I’m left handed (I’m not sure, but this may influence)

Childhood: in short, I was a strange child. At the kindergarden I used to look always behind the computers to see how cables were connected; I learnt reading and writing when I was three, and my kindergarten nannies remember me that I was extremely lively (too lively, sincerely), very good at puzzles that were designed for elder children, and that I used to talk always about things like gizmos, mechanical systems, possible projects using windmills and things like that.

In addition, I was not extroverted and not very friendly to my mates and teachers (that I now love for accepting me for how strange I was even when, often, I was completely crazy). At the primary school, the situation was different.

I got bullied very very often both from schoolmates and teachers, that, in a school of the peripheral area of a city, hated me because I was smarter than other children.

They used to put the blame on me for everything that happened in my class, they lied to my parents about things that, for they, I did (they were serious things, so my parents didn’t believe me) because they were just envious, exactly like my classmates.

Now I don’t like children and I hate everything related to the period of primary school, because it remembers me all that bullying of teachers and classmates.

The only positive aspects is that this experience taught me not only to respect everyone and avoid bullying, but to be always as generous and correct as possible with other people in order to avoid they made the same bad experiences.

Social skills: they were quite poor, but in the time with my very analytic behaviour I learned how the “society algorithm” works, and I am in some things even more able than normal people, because I don’t do anything in a spontaneous way in social occasions, and instead I know how to simulate well an emotion or another. However, there are still many points where this “algorithm” I learned doesn’t work, and that translates in social difficulties.

Everyday life: the main difference is that I see patterns everywhere. Patterns and algorithms. In addition, I am usually really fast in thinking logically, and when I speak I usually try in my head in 1/10 of second 4-5 different sentences and choose the best one (something not the best for that situation, though).

Then often I figure out many different solutions in a very short time to a problem, including the solution that I think will be the wrong one but the one that the others will choose, and I can’t explain the right one.

Often people tell me that my solution is wrong and I am stubborn, but I know it is correct, and after hours they will notice I was right. In addition, I always talk very very fast to keep up with my thoughts.

Other aspects of social life: I often feel alone among the people. I am between them, but I feel separated by a wall that isolates me on a place that is just physically near the people around me. They don’t understand me. They misunderstand me (in a bad way).

I feel as I had some sort of veil that doesn’t let me interact with them. And nobody believes me if I try to explain that. (This is one of the the many symptoms of Asperger’s I have… But I’m almost sure it’s also the IQ)

Interests: my mind is very good in some directions and very wrak in others. For instance, I am not good at maths (high school maths is IMO boring and I don’t want to study it) except for the very small part of it involving logical thinking.

I am very good at writing, but my main, obsessive hobby is programming. I love it, and I am programmer since I was 8. I love it because it’s good to use my logic. I’ve always been very bad at sport. Especially, I have never had coordination. I love quiet places, and I need to walk alone in quiet places for some kilometers every day to relax.

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